Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
