So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Randomize
