she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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