Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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