In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Randomize