so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
