If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
