Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
