We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
