The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize