So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Randomize
