Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize