I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
