brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Two words: blizzard sex
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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