is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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