Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Randomize
