I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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