If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
