I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Everything about him screamed your future.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
