A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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