So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
