i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
