I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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