you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
