Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
