I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
