I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I love you. Go after that dick
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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