Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
