We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
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