Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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