the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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