I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize