yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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