dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Randomize