My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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