it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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