Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
