I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
