all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
