the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
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