JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
