he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
