I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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