i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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