a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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