I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
