if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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