I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
