You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
