I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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