I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
