i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
