That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
