Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
