He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
