Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just threw up on my dentist
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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