I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
