you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Houston, we have a blender
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
