Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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