So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize