Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
