but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
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It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
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My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
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