What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
