i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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