Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Then you guys just all showered together...?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
