I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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