whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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